[ Godsends ]
A Hands-on Response from God
My wife and I lost our baby when she was four months pregnant. We went for a scan at the hospital and it showed there was no heartbeat. We called the baby Angel and he was cremated a week later.
I went through a multitude of emotions, but in all of them was hate. I had nobody to blame, so I blamed God. How could He let our little baby die?
So I grieved with my wife and never prayed. My belief in Him had gone. As far as I was concerned, there was no God.
A few weeks later, I was alone in our house and began to think about what I had said to God in anger. I won't repeat it here; what was said is between us. But slowly I began to regret.
I went upstairs, knelt and prayed. Something told me to read the Bible, which was an old Gideon Bible that had sat unopened in the cupboard for years. I opened the Bible at random not knowing what to read.
"Ask for forgiveness" was the first line that I read. Somehow I realised that all of these years I had sinned. I felt full of remorse. I burst into tears and told God that I was sorry, that I didn't want be filled with anger. I asked Him to be with me and help me.
At that moment, I felt a hand on my back. I was startled, I jumped and turned to see who was there. I never saw or heard anything, but I felt as clearly as I feel the keyboard as I type. The hand of God had reached out to me and touched me.
I opened the Bible twice more and was given two further instructions: "Follow me," and "Rejoice in me."
I didn't know how to follow God, but I am reading the Bible for the first time and am learning. It's not going to be easy, but from now on I am going to try and walk the narrow path.
I'm 34 now, but would like to finish by telling you about a poster I saw when I was 15. Now at 15, posters are important in a boy's room, and posters of cars and motorbikes filled my walls. I was in a shop one day looking through the posters when I saw one of a beach with footprints in the sand. At the top it said, "Lord, you have walked with me all these years. Why in my hour of need did you leave me? I only see one set of footprints."
Below, it said, "My child, I never left you -- I carried you."