[ Divine Signs ]
Standing in Heavenly Light
I don't know how to begin telling my story. I have told a few people and no one has ever believed me. They say I was dreaming, but I know it was no dream.
When I was 16, I was starting to listen to some awful music and falling into a darkness that wasn't normally a part of my personality.
Because of abuse I had suffered in my childhood, I was very angry and depressed. I was angry with everyone in my life... and especially angry with God.
I had always as a child had strong faith in my father, but it seemed he had let me down by allowing all the evil around to consume me, and I was letting all the hurt and anger to take over my heart.
One day as I was listening to music by a particular band and feeling glad over the bad things it was saying about God, I drifted off – not into sleep, but a blackness.
As I stood there confused, I heard voices. Not voices as we know them, but very different sounding and they were surrounding me. I could not see my tormentors, just hear them.
They were telling me how bad I was, like I was going to be an awful mother, a liar, I deserved everything that had happened to me and much, much worse. A lot of the accusations I won’t repeat.
It was very traumatic. As I stood there crying, I heard another voice from behind me. This time the voice was beautiful and calming. It said to me, "Call to him, he will come."
The voice had to repeat itself a couple times for me to understand what I had heard above the din of other voices. At the moment I realized what was going on, I fell to my knees still crying and scared.
I called out to God. I asked Him to come to me. I asked for forgiveness and help.
All of a sudden as soon as the words were out of my mouth, there was a beautiful white light off to my left. I can not describe the purity of this light except to say it was beautiful, and from it I felt nothing but love and calmness. As soon as it appeared, the hateful voices just disappeared.
I fell against the light, all the while asking for forgiveness. It felt so wonderful, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to stay there forever.
But the light disappeared as well after a moment or two. I was all of a sudden back in my room, still shaking and crying. But I knew things were different. I was safe. I made my choice that day. I was going to try to follow God.
I took all the evil music and pictures of the bands and destroyed them.
I am not going to say I have been perfect since then. I have not been, but every time I feel God has left me or I am allowing life to overcome me with the trials I have faced, then I recall that day.
I don't know why this happened to me. I don't understand why I was attacked that day except to say I allowed it to happen; I invited it in.
But God intervened and took control.
That was 17 years ago and I have not forgotten a moment of it. It was the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me.